Like the man said, “Is she really going out with him”...women sure pick out some real losers yet they always seem genuinely surprised when those guys treat them like two day old trash...you walk around town and you see these couples...you’ve gotta be kidding me...good girls like to hang around with the bad boys so that they can be bad girls...like the old captain said, “women will do anything for money”, and I’ll add to that that men will say anything to get in a woman’s pants...that’s just the truth...and there's a lot of good, nice guys doing nothing on Friday and Saturday nights...losers, boozers, cheaters, beaters—liars, jerks...that’s what they go for..... it's just one after another, after another, after another...a steady pattern with little variation...and if something comes out badly and you keep repeating the same mistakes, that’s called being crazy and a lot of women are crazy...they walk away with emotional scars...some are covered up, some fade with the passage of time, some keep tapping them upside the head and rapping them on the knuckles with a wooden ruler like the nuns did at the parochial school...and keep reminding them that they’re still there...but when you’re dancing in a minefield, you can’t bitch about stepping on mines...and then turning around and doing the same thing again...they come in many different genres, but every book or movie is all the same...every chapter or scene is predictable and there’s very rarely a surprise ending...they all end badly, sadly, some end with a body in the forest preserve badly—and if the police are lucky, they might find some dna, if it hasn’t been out in the weather too long...or the bones and clothes haven’t been disturbed by foraging animals...animals always get the blame in those circumstances...under some bush, or in the brush, or behind a rock...dust off the snow, uncover the shallow grave and there it is...there’s your real proof...your shred of evidence...show me what you got...magic lantern show time...show me what you have to show says the jury like they’re really impartial...but if the defendant is good looking or dresses really well, they’ve got a better chance to be found innocent...that’s a known fact...and of course if you got money, you can buy your way out of it with a good lawyer...anyway, I try to avoid everybody...I’m always suspicious when a friend tells me “She likes you...she wants to meet you”...uh, yeah sure...to paraphrase Groucho Marx, I wouldn’t want to go out with any woman who wanted to go out with me...that’s a red flag right there... I mean, what’s she looking for?...she ain’t gonna find it with me...when she finds out that I don’t have much money or that magical aphrodisiac power, you can bet she’s not looking my way anymore...relationships are give and take with the balance of power on the take side...you know what they’re thinking…if I give a little bit, I’ll get a lotta bit, a lot of what I wanta, and you know what I wanta...don’t want to meet your Daddy, just want you in my Caddy as the song goes...give it to me now, and I promise I’ll call you tomorrow baby...seriously, I will...but seriously, you shouldn’t be waiting by the phone...like another song says, “If the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me” or something like that...relationships are so disposable...like diapers...I don’t need the hassle, I’ll stay in my castle.
